Texas SWAT teams swooped in on the Garden of Eden organic farm in Arlington, Texas, where they promptly seized "17 blackberry bushes, 15 okra plants, 14 tomatillo plants ... and sunflowers," all nutritious and legal plants, after holding residents inside at gunpoint for at least a half-hour. The Garden raid lasted about 10 hours, searching for non-existent pot plants. Nosy neighbors had filed a false police report, resulting in a massive government raid that ended with only about a dozen raw, dark green, pointy organic okra in police custody, hopefully in tiny handcuffs!
Apparently, okra is a dangerous gateway vegetable that leads consumers to using hard green veggies, such as uncooked broccoli, raw asparagus and those testicle-imitators called Brussels Sprouts, which sound very foreign and scary and new, sort of like a green-colored Belgium waffle liberally laced with healthy spirulina algae and green wheatgrass powder, while silently screaming songs of raw asparagus appetizer anarchy, and clearly posing a theatrical threat to the established order of US-sanctioned, USDA-approved numbing normalcy. Stamp out all okra outlaws! Eating vegetables is scary and subversive, and can lead to other healthy behaviors.
CALIFORNIA; Dateline August, 2011:
Los Angeles SWAT teams raided yet another peaceful organic farm, Healthy Family Farms, and a private farm coop, Rawesome Foods. Why? For making real cheese from raw (yes, uncooked!, just like Jesus drank) milk. Natural Milk! How scary. The raid was coordinated to hit both Rawesome Foods and Healthy Family Farms simultaneously and led to three arrests for natural dairy crimes, the confiscation of personal computer equipment from offices as well as containers full of raw milk cheese, and the wasteful dumping of more than $10,000 worth of privately-owned, fresh, raw milk. The police raid was carried out by gun-toting officers of the LA County Sheriff’s Office, the FDA, the Dept. of Agriculture and the Centers for Disease Control. That is, the LACSO, FDA, DOA, & CDC. The alleged anagram of that recalcitrant acronym is simply: USA,GOV,SUCKS.
James Stewart (owner of Rawesome Foods), Sharon Palmer (owner of Healthy Family Farms), and Victoria Bloch (local L.A. head of the Weston A. Price Foundation) were all arrested on charges of conspiracy to sell unpasteurized milk products! Yikes! This is a big threat to our established penchant for all things corporate, overcooked, and over-marketed. Mooooooove over all you tattooed, gang-banging criminals, the notorious Rawesome Threesome had their brash Brussels balls busted for sporting illegal milky mustaches! Food anarchists! Bacteria lovers! You health nuts are Dangerous Minds...
- Your American tax dollars at work: Busting healthy farmers minding their own business on their organic farms. Yup.
Everyone knows that raw milk is an addictive, dangerous, & mood-altering wanna-be drug that can lead to increased consumption of other healthy foods, like organic okra from Texas, which is a dangerous green gateway vegetable (Nixon said so) that can lead unsuspecting users to eventually embrace non-American foods, new ideas and funny foreign cultures that consume rebellious green-husked tomatillos, a decidedly south-of-the-border vegetable likely eaten by Pancho Villa and Fidel Castro, one that we all know is just looking for easy US citizenship in open-minded Arizona, where all young, hard veggies yearn to immigrate and become new US citizens, or at least salsa verde. This wacky Waco-esque health craze is a terrible, tangible threat to the established American preference for instantly fast, overly-processed, over-cooked, well-preserved, artificially flavored and colored, HFCS-laden, high-calorie, FDA inspected & neglected, corporate-made junk food!
- As a threat to The American Way, it must be stamped out immediately with BIG police guns! On to Ferguson!
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